"Ich bin ein Preuße...

Mun Name: Linda, superfluously
AIM: Pb2Ag
Email: Lunapen@hotmail.com
Notes: Feel free to hit me up anytime if you have questions, comments, critiques, or just want to chat.

Also, if one of those mediums are undesirable, feel free to post here, and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. I'll even leave Anon posting on for you.

PRETEND I KNOW GERMAN.


omg so cool +___+

( March Onward )

[The post begins with Prussia fiddling with the communicator, searching the most recent posts for his brother. The setting: Denmark's apartment in Marshall.]

Ya were really eating toothpaste? [ Loud, amused, and Danish accented. Guess. In the background is a faint sizzling sound. Prussia is sitting at the table in Denmark's apartment, looking bloody. ]

Shut up, and give me food.

What kinda toothpaste? Did ya drink outta the toilet, too?

[ silence is consent. ... ... ... ... ABRUPT SUBJECT CHANGE-- Wait, wait, almost. One sec, gotta scratch at caked face-blood. Okay, now we're good. ] ... Have you seen my brother?

[ Denmark is silent for a moment, cooking, and then replies more seriously: ] No. Probably a good thing. [ PAUSE, and then footsteps coming over to the table. Denmark slides something down in front of Prussia. Look it's a plate of some sort of ... semi-fried meat and potatoes thing look it's delicious. Also some beer. This is Denmark's beer. The view changes as Prussia sets the communicator aside.]

[ Conversation and defending brother or feast. Conversation and defending brother or feast. Oh, fuck the conversation, IT IS FEASTING TIME. Here, audience, have a wonderful view of a starved Prussian devouring everything in sight oh my god yes. He might even have to stop and cough to keep from choking a few times. But that doesn't last long. feast feast feast feast feast. HE MAY OR MAY NOT BE CRYING AT THIS POINT. ]

[Denmark: popcorn.gif. He's just sitting there, drinking his beer, watching. And it's always wonderful to get looks of pity from Denmark, isn't it? Denmark looks a bit bloody, too, but surprisingly enough, Prussia is the worse off. He eventually notices the communicator. ] Oii, Prussia! Yer communicator's light thing is blinking!

Huh? [ Goddamnit Denmark, can't you see that feasting is more important than your annoyingass voic- ]  ...Shit. [ He picks the communicator up, pressing a few buttons checking for his brother again, and then turns it off. ]

((OOC: All of this is taking place after THIS glorious log.))

[ The video begins with Prussia (surprise!). He, strangely enough, looks serious. No cocky grins here. ]

Hey, you intellectual types. I've got a riddle for you to solve.

[ He aims the screen at two sheets of paper, flattened out on the ground. They're both blotched with blood (Prussia's blood, to be exact. Fuck you, America).

The first paper. (Heads up: The English letters aren't there. It's all just crazy symbols.)
The second paper. (Same for this one.)

For happy fun learning time, it's referencing THIS. Fuck you, America [again]. ]

If you can tell me what they mean and who wrote them, you'll be rewarded. So get on it! Don't make me wait!

[ He's about to end the message, but adds as an afterthought: ]

...Also, has anyone seen that pansy? Austria? I still need to kick his ass.

[ END. ]

TREATY OF DISCEDO

Article 1:

It is agreed that Rigsfællesskabet, the Kingdom of Denmark, Iceland, Greenland, and the Faroe Islands henceforth recognizes the right of ownership of the Kingdom of Prussia in regards to the duchies of Schleswig, Holstein, and Brechstange. It is further agreed that said territories will be restored to the Kingdom of Prussia without difficulty and without requiring any compensation.

Article 2:

Austria. Get out.

Article 3:

The navigation and use of Lander Boulevard shall forever remain free and open to the subjects of the Kingdom of Prussia and the citizens of Rigsfællesskabet, and that subjects of the Kingdom of Prussia will henceforth be exempt from the Dues placed upon the lane.

( Oh my god, not an IC cut, what are we. )

Shit, Denmark's already--

LISTEN UP, NEWCOMERS.

If you're here, then there's compulsory service in the Prussian military! Earn your keep, brats! Staying in my city isn't a free vacation!

And, before you idiots decide to ask, no. You don't get a choice in the matter. Stop being a bunch of sissies, pick up a goddamn rifle, and answer to me!

(( OOC: Still in London, but I'm traveling home today. Expect responses to happen later today. ))

( Private; Hackable )

[ It’s a video post. The room is dark.

If you strain your eyes, you’ll see Prussia’s face. And he doesn’t look to hot. In fact, there’s blood. Lots and lots of blood. One of his eyes is swollen shut, while the other has dark bruises around it. But, despite these injuries, he’s grinning. Not his typical ‘Oh my god, why am I so awesome’ grin. Instead, it’s slightly cracked. The kind of grin a cornered animal bears when it knows its time is coming to an end.

He speaks, but it’s in hoarse, accented English. ]

None of you are touching me. None of you are even coming anywhere near my vital regions. Sure, you can try--

Hell, you know what? Do try. Please. Gather your armies! Gather your empires! Your men, horses! Your Gods! Update your technology, advance and train your troops! Invest millions into your war machines! Form your shitty alliances and begin your political dances! Steal your neighbor’s economy! Send the world into a goddamned recession, if you want! Come on, do it you sissies! Do it, and fight me! Fight me! FIGHT ME! FIGHT ME!

...

Hahaa! …Hahahaa! You won’t win, you know. You won’t take my land from me. I’ve fought too goddamn hard for this! For my empire! All your scurrying about and shit is for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I’m the greatest nation in the world, and no matter how hard you might try, you can’t win against me! It’s impossible! Remember Austria! Russia! France, Spain, Napoleon, Denmark, Europe! None of them could defeat the might of the Prussian military! I’ll crush your rebellions! I’ll burn your homes! I’ll execute your heroes-- You’ll all fall by my hand!

You’ll come nowhere near my land. It’s mine. Mine. MINE.

So back the fuck off!

[ Here, have a rather forced, guttural laugh before the video cuts out. ]

Bohemia has been reclaimed in the name of the great German Empire.

Austria, I thank you for your donation. You should know better than to taint my city's mind with your disgusting music.

[ Prussia sounds a little ill. ]

Anyone here an economist?

( Private; Hackable )

Alright, I’ve become sick and tired of you undereducated, liberal-ass buffoons and your complete failure to do anything right. So I’m going to settle this once and for all.

As hilarious as the thought of both Russia and America behind bars is, YOU POLICE PEOPLE DON’T MAKE SENSE. You can’t arrest a fucking country.

Let me reiterate: we are countries. You are not. We fight wars. You fight in wars. We are the representation of millions of individuals. You are an individual. We are the law. You uphold the law. We are the culture. You are influenced by the culture. We are the traditions. You make the traditions. We have absolute sovereignty over our lands. You have a limited amount of sovereignty over yourselves.

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE.

( OOC cut—The rant continues )

[ Silence. Five long minutes of silence. ]

( Private; Hackable )

( Private; Hackable )

Hey, you idiots! Listen here, and listen well!

No, the ash isn’t “magic.” Nor will wallowing in it going to help you fools. It’ll stop eventually, and you’ll all find something else to whine about. However, I can assure you, the ash rain is the least of your worries.

In 1816, the year after I kicked Napoleon’s French ass back to exile (with minimal assistance from England), we had a situation similar to this. Ash rain, crazy storms, and blizzards. In the summer. The similarities here are too striking to ignore, so I suggest you all prepare for it. Stockpile foods, gather warm clothing. While we have no crops to protect, there’s still work to be done! So get off your lazy asses, and do it!

Also, stop being so fucking stupid and dying from this ash shit. It reflects badly on me. I will not have you sully the Prussian name with a lame death like that!

Oh, and Austria? Thank you for Bohemia. I’m sure it’ll fit nicely with my German Empire. Though, I now believe that I've effectively proven Prussian superiority to both you and Russia. How's your neck, Russia? Still able to breathe correctly?

That nation meeting was a complete waste of time. It doesn't matter though. I'll be getting Bohemia one way or another. I hope you're prepared, Austria.

However, I wasn’t expecting so many Russians! Or for them to attempt to spread such useless propaganda! Well, I shouldn’t be too surprised. You Russians have such a special talent in doing the unthinkable. Like trying to train your military with drunk generals or replacing your blood with vodka. Such pioneers into the realm of Stupidity! An honorable accomplishment! Haha!

On to more important matters, is anyone aware of the stability of Latimir? Is it still functioning? Or will it need to be fortified? How stable are the floors beneath the one that collapsed? Will they be able to support the rubble from the top floor? This information is imperative. Find me answers immediately.

Also, whichever demon in this godforsaken city is causing all this darkness shit? Cut it out. It’s getting old. If I find out who you are, I’ll beat your face in. … And it had better not be that girl with the list.


( Private to Russia )

[ Instead of Prussia's typical MANLY voice, you get a very, very, very, very, very girly Fin voice. She begins by speaking in German, but sounds rather panicked. ]

No-- I told you to-- Wh-why!?

[ Fin switches quickly to English. ]

Someone! Anyone! Fin... Fin needs a doctor here now! PLEASE! Prussia is--

Prussia--!

[ She repeats the message for help in Japanese before ending the post. ]


((OOC: Occurring after a rather brutal beating from Yuriy.))

( Private; Hackable )

ALL YOU NEWCOMERS!

Don't listen to that idiot, America! This is my city, so you'd better obey my rules! Joining his army is treason!

The Prussian draft is in place! That means you're all members of the Prussian military! NOT AMERICA'S! Do me proud, you sissies!

HEY, THIEF.

Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. Give me back my property! I rightfully conquered Latvuania from Russia! He's mine now! A part of the Prussian Empire! You have no right to steal him from me!

If you bring him back right now, then I'll show you some mercy.

WITCHCRAFT.

Hungary's a beast.